1) Never Criticise, Condemn & Complain
 

Highly successful people realise how important it is to never criticise or condemn or complain, because any of that type of energy put out on the world, only causes others to do the same thing. And you’re committed instead to only speak highly of others, to speak positively and to talk about where it is that you’re going in life, rather than about all the things that aren’t working. So, as the leader that you are, you realise now the futility of criticising or condemning or complaining. Instead, in their places, there is the willingness and the desire to speak in positive terms. If you don’t have something positive to say, you prefer not to say anything at all. That’s the trait of a leader.

2) Appreciate Others

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As the leader that you are becoming, you also realise the necessity of giving appreciation to others. It is what we call strength centred comments. Are you willing to look into others and see the goodness within? Are you seeing the beings of light that they are? So, with everybody that you come into contact with throughout the course of the day or week or the year or on throughout your life, will you look at them and see them for the beings of light that they are? Look inside. Know who they really are. Can you see their true magnificence and you share that with them?  That’s the secret to interpersonal relations. Don’t give vague and empty compliments. Instead what you do is you notice the strengths that they have inside. You look for that which they’re good at and you notice it. Comment on that strength and be lavish in your compliments. Praise people for that which they do well and they appreciate your honest and sincere appreciation. Imagine yourself now in those situations. Where might you utilise this human relations principle of offering sincere appreciation? Is it your colleague or partner or your spouse or somebody that’s close to you? Can you see yourself offering them strength centred comments and giving them honest and sincere appreciation? When you do that, notice the look on their faces. Notice also how they feel about that. Notice how much they glow and shine and notice how good it makes you feel inside; to be so secure within yourself that you can offer others sincere appreciation.
 

3) Get Willing Cooperation

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I’d also like to suggest that in your interpersonal communications look for ways to assist people and wanting to do what you suggest. So when you make suggestions to another you look for ways to assist that person and wanting to do it. You look for ways to enlist their willing cooperation because you know that that’s the secret to success. Enlisting the willing cooperation of others. In fact, it’s rare when a true leader makes other people do that which they don’t want to do. They find ways to inspire that person to do that which they seek. So each and everyday, in every way are you looking for ways to arouse in other people an eager and want to do those things which you suggest.

4) Take Interest In Others

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Another secret to human relations is becoming genuinely interested in other people. Are you now working well with other people and developing synergistic relations? Are you genuinely interested in those that you’re working with? Take interest in people. Imagine yourself now, in a social situation or social interaction where you’re with one person or a few people. Notice that you’re asking them questions about themselves. So rather than talking incessantly about yourself like other people do, you realise that the key to winning the appreciation of others is to become genuinely interested in them. Ask them questions about what they do and where they’re from, what they’ve done during their day, about their family, etc.

5) Smile

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Smile! May I suggest that as you go throughout your day, that whatever it is that you do, that you walk through life with a smile on your face? A smile sends a message that’s much more than you could communicate through words. As a leader, you realise the necessity to be a role-model of excellence and each and everyday as you go throughout the day, you smile! When you’re around others, smile. Perhaps you can even smile on your own! When you realise the message a smile sends you find that it’s easy to do. Something you can do all the time and you like to smile. You like the message it conveys and you enjoy being the role-model of excellence. You can spread cheer throughout your day and to those around you and those you work with. So I’d like to suggest that you smile often.

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These Five Habits will take you a long way towards building and maintaining  enriching relationships with the people around you. At the same time, you may have already realised that at the core of human relationships is UNDERSTANDING. How well do you understand others? How well are you being understood by others? Do you want to be better at understanding and being understood? That will be the subject of my next sharing with you. In the meantime, have an enjoyable time practising the Five Habits to build and maintain enriching relationships in your life.

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To the richest relationships and enduring successes in your work and life!

 

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M Marzuki Mohamed
Certified Neuro-Semantics and NLP Trainer, and Meta-Coach

by the International Society of Neuro-Semantics®.